shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
