"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
