haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize