Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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