She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
