Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
