well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
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I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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