New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
