it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
