now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
