omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
