i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
