I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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