They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
why is half of my head shaved?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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