i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
