Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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