that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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