I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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