No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
