So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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