I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
