Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
