I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
