he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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