That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
