His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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