I am puke
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
