You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Randomize
