Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
