I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
