Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
