the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
