When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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