She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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