The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
