he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
