I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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