wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize