I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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