Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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