he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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