every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
