To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
wow bdsm is so cute
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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