i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sorry about my life...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
