Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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