I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
