am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
