I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
