Say something about gay babies.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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