Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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