u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
