plz talk dirty to me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
