I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
