He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.