Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
ttyl tear gas
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.