He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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