I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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