I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
