I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
