Will you blow on my dice?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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