you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize